Image by Jorge Stolfi (http://www.link.cs.cmu.edu/splay/)
Words aren't coming this morning. I'm in Portland, Oregon, visiting my children. The house is set on a hill inside a rain forest. The autumn foliage drips color as if Jack Frost breezed through and the color scheme this year is earth tones - beige and moss green, splashes of russets and mushroom umbra, yellow. I've been up for hours and got to spend time with both night and day. There's a chill in the air and it has seeped into the room where I sit. Thanksgiving has come and gone. I'll be on my way home tomorrow. Taking advantage of the quiet and my new surroundings, I sit down to write. The words are slow to emerge.
Obviously there are a few; I just typed them. But where is my usual jumpstart phrase? Why is the voice in my head silent and shy?
I think I am not yet used to my surroundings. Having traveled a fair bit, I know there are those first few days spent adjusting to the terrain. I hear voices muffled in discussion in the adjacent room. If I am to have writing time, it is limited. I reach again for the words knowing they are there but not finding them.
This is a scenario I've lived before and one I will live again. I've started paying attention to When and Where it happens in order to get to the Why. It is from that familiar place I plucked the first words on this page. There is nothing strange or mystical about it. I must be patient and allow the creativity to flow. It's not Creativity's nature to be forced or contrived.
At home, I write in two places, my couch and a cushy chair in my art studio. Both work for me. I'm surrounded by familiar things that bring comfort and inspiration. Usually I can count on them for the charge that gets me going. When they don't do the trick, I get in my car and drive to a favorite coffee haunt, order my decaf and see if a local conversation or friendly face triggers a thought.
The last resort when the drought appears is to give up the ghost and upset my routine, dispelling any need for writing at that moment. Some days it is hard to give in to this. Other times I welcome the relief and the day opens up with unexpected time to do something new or unplanned. I am practiced at this and I can count on the words coming forward at some point. I'm a decent writer but my old friends - letters, words and sentences - sometimes give my brain a rest, inactivity it obviously needs.
I had planned to come up with some sort of poignant seasonal sharing about gratitude and family and taking stock of what is and isn't in our busy and ever-changing lives. It felt trite and so the words didn't materialize. Instead, what is leaping onto the page is this idea of not having words readily available and the notion that with helpful tools, they will and do return.
I'm using writing as my metaphor to illustrate a process that happens in all forms of creating: business, playing sports, homemaking, art, cooking. It is especially prevalent in lifestyle design and although there are more variables and possibilities in Life than in writing, the metaphor is just as apparent. As a writer, I can come to the page one morning and what usually comes easily is suddenly blank, or worse - it is dull and uninteresting. The same thing happens in our daily lives. We can be rolling along with gusto and BAM! one morning there is nothing that excites us. Life looks bleak and quickly works its way into overwhelm. Just as the writer who in the second hour of staring at a blank page doubts he has anything worthwhile to say, we begin to question our career choices, our love relationships, the paths we've chosen since birth. We forget the flashes of brilliance in the article written last month for that travel magazine, the business deal we closed for the company last week, the joy we felt seeing our loved ones after spending a long week on the road! The phenonmenon of not being able to create hits us hard. If we work for someone else, we feel pressured by this. If we work for ourselves we beat ourselves up for not being able to produce as cleverly or as easily as others. These feelings can spill over into our personal lives and it is easy to lay blame, point fingers, find fault.
There is more than hope at these times. Those of us who have experienced it repeatedly, who have faced a blank page in life for weeks on end and have persisted through the help of the simplest of tools, know this. We also know that the tools cost nothing except faith in the process, the courage to give it a try and the energy to keep it going. The tools have names: Music, Exercise, Time With Friends, Good Food, Reading, Walking The Dog ... or maybe, Taking A Trip, Being Of Service To Someone, Buying A New Dress or Journaling. The list is customized and one of the most fun parts is that we get to choose whatever tool works best for us at the moment.
The point is Change. Change your routine. Your blank mind/disinterest in life is whispering this to you. It is saying "Do something new!" and it lets you decide what that might be. If you are one who has a hard time because of guilt or an overly scrupulous conscience or perfectionist tendencies, you will need this exercise most and will, most likely, respond to its results more passionately than others.
Creativity - whether it is in writing or business or inside your life - is a living thing and in that sense, must be nurtured, loved and allowed a variety of expressions. Any kind of blockage is a serious sign that a change of pace is needed. The result can happen quickly and you can be back to work/life in no time. But you have to give the change a chance to work its magic. I warn you, it's fun and once you give it a go, you will come to crave the opportunities the blank page offers you! Some times take longer than others. This requires more faith and more patience. It works unfailingly if you allow it. Sometimes you need someone/something else to give you a nudge. Think about what might work for you, let it in, and enjoy the ride.
I have literally awakened in the wee hours of the morning with words swirling in my brain. Phrases that sing like the sweetest song; nouns waiting to be painted with adjectives and led somewhere magical by verbs of every imagined action. Most of the time it has happened after a long hiatus from the blank page. The sooner I begin my quest for tools to awaken my creative mind, the faster I am back to the page, filling it with thoughts as fast as my fingers can fly across the keys!
See? The words are here after all. I had to look around me and let my beautiful surroundings join in the fun. Suddenly there are too many words that will require editing when I'm finished letting them all flow onto this page ... into my life and yours!
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Robert Benchley was troubled by a blank page, too. He was a humorist in the 20's, 30's, and 40's and one of my favorite writers. He could write about the most mundane things imaginable, such as cleaning out a desk, and turn out an article that would have me laughing out loud. Sometimes the words wouldn't come, however. Since he had at various times signed contracts to write regular columns for magazines like The New Yorker and Vanity Faire this was a problem. For much of his life he lived in a New York Hotel and he'd much rather be celebrating at the bar with friends like Dorothy Parker and Alexander Woolcott than working on an article upstairs.
ReplyDeleteOne night when he was up against a deadline he sat down, put a fresh sheet of paper in his typewriter, and stared at the blank page for almost an hour. Feeling that a break would do him some good he went downstairs and partied with his friends for a couple of hours. Reluctantly he dragged himself back upstairs and stared at the paper some more. He typed the word "The" as he figured it was as good a way as any to start an article and he was tired of staring at a blank page. After staring at that single word for about 30 minutes he finished the sentence "hell with it." and went back downstairs.
Thanks for sharing that great story, Steve! And, as ever, thanks for sharing your inspiration with us Kittie.
ReplyDeleteKittie, I am always smitten w/your words as they SING off the page!
ReplyDeleteWhile my writing has built a dam inside my grieving brain from the summer loss of my Mother, every once in awhile when I read the kinds of words you write, the dam cracks a tiny leak someplace and the "water" trickles through. I often go to others words when I can't find my own to get inspired.
One of my favorite, all-time books is THE ZEN OF RUNNING which is out of print now. Fred Rohe, the author, said "If you think you can run a mile, then run one block." Since I'd been aiming just to complete a mile while running it, and in under 14 minutes, I might add(I know you marathoners are holding onto your obliques from laughter), Rohe's words were like Gospel music to my ears: I ran w/a slower stride taking deeper breaths and before I barely knew it, I ran a whole mile and I felt terriffic! Sometimes one line of words, or just two is enough!
I am so grateful for that and your blog!
Janice Rose