GIFT

Gift. As a figure of speech it is both noun and verb. As a focus for many of us this time of year, it can be both joy and duty. For me, it is creative and meaningful and fun! I love the giving and the receiving equally and I relish as much in the presentation as anything.

But it is good to remember the heart of it ...

I cannot speak for others because it is my own heart with whom I am familiar. I have given too much in the name of appearances. I have given too little for lack of imagination. I have even received and been disappointed, and it was merely my own expectation that diminished the joy. 

To offer a gift is a ritual so special, it can get lost in the crowd. When presumption or accountability get involved, gifting becomes joyless and a burden. There are lots of ways to lighten this load, to make it more meaningful and to breathe new life into a tradition intended for good.

It works best for both giving and receiving when the heart is open and greets these customs with arms outstretched. True gifts reach across boundaries, not only to touch the receiver but to strengthen compassion within ourselves and to deepen our personal sense of love. We spend time in thought about another, getting outside of our problems or interrupting our routine and that adds to the gift. Home-made gifts from children delight us so! Why not use our minds, our hands, our creativity to make something to communicate how much we value the person who will receive? Last year, my sister-in-law gave me the most beautiful memory book - FULL of pictures of us together, of our children when they were little. She cut out and wrote in her own hand words and phrases to describe how she feels about me and she cut out scenes that symbolize her love for me. I have picked that book up countless times and that one gift has lightened my heart throughout the year! My daughter has designed jewelry out of ribbons and metal pieces, crafting incredible works of wearable art. She hand-sewed a leather bag with pieced suede leaves and a braided handle. People have stopped me on the street to find out where I bought something so beautifully unusual. 

My friend, Lucy, often prefers to gift when it is needed or when her spirit is moved to offer a surprise. I love this practice! It's so satisfying to delight someone with something they want or need when they least expect it!

We don't have to make gifts for them to be meaningful. It truly is "the thought that counts". When I unwrap something I really need, or would never get for myself ... when the surprise comes spontaneously and sometimes with sacrifice, it is a real gift, one to be cherished and make me smile.

I have so many gift stories. I want to include two of them here. 

The first is hard to write because it comes with so much emotion. It is about my son. He is good about giving gifts, his heart grinning from one side to the other as he makes his presentation! I have imagined the fun he has making plans! I think if I published the list of his gifts here, it would embarrass him, so I won't. He knows how grateful I am for his thoughtfulness. He cannot know how incredibly helpful his support and sacrifice has meant to me ...

The second story involves both of my children, but specifically, my daughter. I wrote about it at the time it happened and called the short story "Surrender" because the gift required me to be truthful and to put aside my prideful nature in order to receive. I include it here, with editing for time's sake. It happened a long time ago, when my kids were still in school. As you read, perhaps something similar will come to mind for you ...

SURRENDER  

The past few years have been extra lean at our house. I made some choices that didn't help matters and I am grateful they weren't fatal. We are slowly working our way back, learning as we go. I included my kids in this process because on what felt like the "Eve of Destruction", they caught me crying in my bedroom and I could think of nothing else to tell them but the truth.

The days that followed were spent discussing ways to cut back and how to generate more money. We all participated. As we moved through the problem, something bigger happened to me. One of the things I knew to be true was that in this world you must persist. At every turn, in every way, you plant your feet, square your shoulders and face the giant. Sometimes the giant feels too big to face alone. What if he seems to have no heart, no reason, no mercy? What if when you square and face him, he looks exactly like your greatest fear with an army of endless doubt standing right behind him on the point of no return? 

At this juncture we become who we are, what we have practiced to this point ... and then the angels appear.

I had become a pillar of alabaster. So practiced was I at being strong and good in the name of outward appearances, I looked just fine to those in the outside world. I was one from whom to seek guidance and direction. 

 

Inside, I was slowly hollowing out, becoming more and more brittle as I denied myself the truth, seeking solace from no one. Shining and white and as breakable as porcelain ... and when on the "Eve of Destruction", I collapsed in despair in my bedroom, God sent the angels in to help me. I looked at the loving faces of my children through my tears and humbly, gratefully fell into their arms.

There have been subsequent angels in my life. They know who they are. Through surrender came rejuvenation and I am better at guidance and direction now. A few weeks ago, I happily sent the gift of a sizable check to my daughter at college with a note attached that said, "Use this for what you want the most." It felt so good to be able to do it!

Last night, I was sitting on the front porch of our house enjoying the evening breeze when a car pulled up and out jumped my daughter, arms outspread, yelling "SURPRISE!" I couldn't believe my eyes!

 

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

She answered with a triumphant smile on her face.

 

"You said to use that money for what I wanted the most, so here I am!"

As we surrender to love, so do we teach it.

 

Any gift offered in love lasts a lifetime. It matters and reciprocally, it benefits giver as much as the person who receives. Put JOY into your gift giving this year! It isn't how many or how costly ... it is how much heart lives inside.

Do you have a story of gift-giving or receiving to share? Please post yours in the comments section directly below. Wishing everyone HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!