Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Overwhelm!

 Unknown Artist

The word from my heart pocket is Overwhelm.

Today I went to get a rental car to drive while mine is in the shop. Gosh-a-mighty. It was as if the rental car folks were in a vortex of overwhelm.

The phone rang non-stop. There were 4 people on duty and 12 people in the waiting area. All people were promised cars and there were none on the lot. People had been waiting for hours. Some of them had dogs. One car came in and before it could be distributed, the person who dropped it off left with the keys for parts unknown. The manager was answering phones and acting as ambassador while checking people in. If the customers weren't shouting at the ambassador, they were grumbling loudly to each other or into their cell phones. The chaos was overwhelming to everyone.

What was fascinating was how everyone reacted to the situation. Only one woman (and her equally tranquil sheepdog) was calm. Everyone else found a way to express their frustration loudly. Blame was rampant and contagious. The Ambassador remained pretty calm but the stress was creeping into his telephone voice. He spoke in a controlled manner. He multi-tasked but also paid attention to the order in which people arrived, servicing first-come-first-served. Those with reservations were put in line with the others. Preferences flew out the window as people just wanted anything to drive. Some people were missing work. A couple had missed airplane reservations. Each person had a story to tell. Each was completely thrown off base and everyone except the woman with the sheepdog (named Talulah) was completely overwhelmed. The more they focused on the negative effect of having to wait, the more complicated their individual situations grew. More phone calls made. Rearranging and telling the story over and over to each new listener. Even with the manager working as hard and calmly as he could, the vortex grew. So did the noise. 

Overwhelm  happens. If a person is addicted to drama, it is a constant state and extremely taxing on the mind and body. For most of us, overwhelm feels as though "when it rains, it pours", (exactly what the manager muttered through his harried grin). When overwhelm is mixed with vulnerable emotional states like helplessness and fear, it's hard to think clearly. Thinking clearly is the antidote to overwhelm and the first step toward overcoming it. There are ways to make that happen. 

A few deep breaths can clear the mind. Putting oneself in a neutral environment. Sharing with someone who is sympathetic but who won't fuel the fire. Meditation and prayer. Sleep. Making a list can help the mind to visualize and see a pattern or doable path. Exercise or brisk walking. Listening to calming music or sounds of nature calms a tense body and releases tension. Massage and taking a hot or cool bath/shower. Delegating and prioritizing one's tasks is a wonderful way to relieve overwhelm. And my favorite, in almost every case, be proactive. DO SOMETHING. Any choice that relieves tension and soothes the nervous system works.

When we feel overwhelmed, we might feel like crying. Go ahead and do it. Sometimes the answer to a problem will pop into the mind immediately when you're finished. This is also true if we choose vigorous exercise or sleep as an antidote. It is never true when we choose some sort of addictive behavior like drinking or shopping. This choice adds to the overwhelm because we have added one more variable to the mix, not the least of which is avoidance.

Overwhelm is a clue to slow down, simplify, prioritize or to simply stop what we're doing. There is no one answer and there is always, ALWAYS, a way out. 

The solution to overwhelm is to stop, look and listen. Those 3 activities will lead you to a feeling of peace and of being in control.

I left the rental car space to find a coffee shop where I could write and wait for my turn. On my way, I passed a different car leasing company. I walked in, was greeted with smiles and plenty of cars. They had the car of my choice and it was $12 less, well under the amount allotted by my insurance company. I was on the road within 15 minutes. Felt good to be out of the vortex. It feels even better to be on the road ...

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Piquant!

artwork by Leon Golub - Click to see latest exhibition & videos

The word from my heart pocket is Piquant.

We might be offended by a comment. Possibly a movie or article provokes a big response. A new food combination is strangely pleasant. An event seems like it might ruin but ultimately elicits good. These are the piquant moments in life. These are worth enjoyment, if not in the moment, appreciated in hindsight.

Piquant is commonly associated with food but it is easily applied to the movement moments in life. When we experience a moment of piquancy, it is lively and captures our attention. There is usually a kind of edge that accompanies it and it is this edge that holds the clue for learning. It is the edge that sets it apart. 

To have a life filled with piquancy would take great effort, high energy. The balancing times allow us to savor the flavor of those moments and to digest the experience. 

We can sometimes manufacture piquancy by putting ourselves into a new environment or out of our comfort zone. To do so is stimulating and causes movement, especially if we are needing it. Our senses are heightened. Our vocabulary is increased. We gain experience. If we don't give ourselves some exposure to this kind of happening, the opposite occurs. Stagnation. Life becomes bland. If piquant moments continue to knock on the door and we continue to ignore them, they will find a way to express themselves. It is good to allow them in when we can. We learn what we love. We experience who we are.

Piquant isn't essential to existence. It exists to make our life experience richer, fuller, deeper, broader. 

Flavorful. Biting. Pleasingly sharp. 

 Interesting.

Piquant.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Bask!

The word from my heart pocket is Bask.

This guy's on vacation. He's a working dog, an Australian blue heeler. He herds sheep and cattle and carries a pack on his back even when he's taking a walk with his friends. His work is hard but when he's doing it, he's basking in the focus of it. He's a curious fellow and investigates anything that might teach him something new. He relishes his moments. He basks in the fun of learning. 

This guy likes to please, both others and himself. He will practice what he loves, over and over until he's the best. He insists on one more throw, one more 4-legs-off-the-ground jump to catch the prize. He makes it almost every time now and when he does, he basks for a moment in the glory of his success.

This guy ... knows how to live.

I wonder if we could do this. I wonder if we could appreciate more fully the moments in our days ... rising out of bed and basking in the sunrise, meeting an obstacle at work with focus and interest and basking in the challenge; Savoring meals, wallowing in good weather or the invention of air conditioning, deriving pleasure from a chance to listen to really good music while in traffic, indulging, delighting, basking in our daily experiences.

Every day is vacation for this guy. You might have a guy like this at your house. I think these guys are good examples for living life in the moment. Rich and full of interest, trying our best not for the sake of winning but because that's what winning is. 

Do a little basking today.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Detach!

Artwork by Carla Kurt - Click to see more

The word from my heart pocket is Detach.

The word bears consideration. When we detach, we disengage, we disconnect, we separate. 

We do this, all of us. Does it mean we aren't caring? And if our goal is to be compassionate and understanding and loving, should we not unite?

To detach is to distance oneself. There are times when this is necessary for unity. For safety sake. To heal. For emotional stability. To grow. 

As a parent, we detach when our child needs letting go. This is an act of love.

As a child, we detach  so we can learn to be whole. This is an act of love.

So when we detach out of love - let our planet get a chance to refurbish, disconnect from drama and sentimentality to allow a person the chance to change - we detach and connect simultaneously. 

It seems, in all of these examples of detachment, we are actually letting go of our need to control. This relinquishment at once unites us all and is a form of complete freedom.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Adventure!

Thank you Six Flags Jackson and Fairbridge!

The word from my heart pocket is ADVENTURE!

What is Adventure?

What is one person's adventure is another person's nightmare.  We flinch at the word camping. We roll our eyes at the idea of river rafting when what we really want is to climb Mt. Everest. It's true. I've met 3 people who have done this (climbed Mt. Everest, not rolled their eyes. We've all done that). Some people find traveling adventurous. Some are branching out to drive in a middle lane on the freeway. There are folks who wouldn't adventure out to an art or dancing class. There are some who find cruises and deep sea fishing and lying on a tropical beach the adventure of their lives.

I remember when riding on an airplane would be an adventure beyond words. Now it is a regular part of my life. When my children were little we traveled so much that when the flight attendant announced "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are in an oversold situation ...", they immediately unbuckled their seat belts because they knew we would volunteer for the bonus tickets. My grown children have taken what I think are amazing adventures in their lives. Think what their children will experience!

It isn't important what we think is adventurous. It isn't necessary to have adventures to have a satisfying life. What is great about an adventure is that it moves us, in every sense of the word. We learn. We gain understanding. Our lives become deeper and richer and we add to our strength. Every time we adventure beyond our comfort zone, we lose fear.

Without fail, after we experience an adventure, we are changed. 

If you want movement in your life, plan an adventure. Be open to what is ahead. The planning can be fun but real adventures come with surprises. That's the sweet part, the heart of it, the gift. There are adventures big and small. They come in front of us every day. Many of us are too busy or too tired or too worried or too fearful to see them. The cool thing about adventure is it isn't prejudiced or judgmental. It is one of the greatest qualities of life and it absolutely feeds creativity.

Have an adventure today.  

 

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Onomatopoeia!

Artwork by Tom Woodward - click to read about Tom

The word from my heart pocket is Onomatopoeia.

Tom Woodward is one of those teachers who thinks learning should be fun. He mentions that when his students are having fun with learning he doesn't have to be a master classroom manager. My incredible friend, Kay Williams, is also one of these teachers. She  has made music class "cool" because of her enthusiasm and her creativity and her love for learning. She has told me so many times how much she learns about teaching from the children. We have all experienced this at least once. When we are having fun or are interested in what is happening, we get involved and we learn.

When I was in 8th grade I was in a spelling bee. Sister Mary Vincent, the principal of my school, personally worked with me because I was the school's representative at the state competition. When the word onomatopoeia came up in our practice, I spelled it quickly and easily. I had learned it in second grade from Sister Mary Michaelyn. I loved Sister Mary Michaelyn. She was very young (in those days girls often went into the convent from 8th or 9th grade). She had been a nun for only a few years. She joined the School Sisters of Notre Dame and she made learning F.U.N. She taught 1st and 2nd grade, 30 students in each class ... all in the same room. She would give 1st graders something to do and teach 2nd graders. She would give the 2nd graders an assignment and teach the 1st graders. It wasn't ideal for anyone, 60 kids in one room. But my memory was that her gift was showing us that learning could be interesting and even exciting. Eventually, she combined both grades in many subjects. She made them pertinent to our lives. She wasn't afraid to learn along with us.

Sister Mary Vincent found it amazing that I had learned to spell onomatopoeia in second grade. She did a little sleuthing and found that almost all of us in that class knew how to spell onomatopoeia and other words that were hard to spell like bougainvillea and gubernatorial. She questioned Sister Mary Michaelyn and I don't know what was said but our 8th grade class, taught by Sister Mary Vincent, became more interesting from that day forward.

Onomatopoeia is a word "that imitates or suggests the source of the sound that it describes." Words like Boom! and Crash! and Tick Tock and Zoom. Animals and machines give us lots of examples of onomatopoeia. Humans are grand specimens with our mis-takes and dis-ease and en-joyment and our living out loud! 

I think onomatopoeia is a metaphor for living dynamically.

When we look at how we live - that is, how we talk, what words we use, rolling our eyes, phony laughter - we can not only see where we are going, but we can hear it, too. On the surface, is our voice and the sounds our body makes with grunting and moaning and sighing and burps. Our thoughts make noises that only we can hear - "I can DO this!", "I'm better at that than he is", "I'm afraid to try". 

How we think, what we believe, shows. Our bodies act out our thoughts. Our choices/decisions act out our beliefs at that moment. We are transparent to others and it is because of our innate gift for self-expression - our onomatopoeia. We speak loud and clear when we don't show up for an appointment. We are heard when we cooperate. We shout when we volunteer. We say more about ourselves than others when we gossip.

Whether we want to think it or not, our lives are open books to those around us. Our self-expression will find its way to air somehow, sometime. It's good to use our onomatopoeia! There are about a bajillion ways from which to choose. The more we become Onomatopeoians, the more honest we are with ourselves and others. We cause movement. We get somewhere. People begin talking to each other again, about their challenges and solutions and we get to know each other up front because we see where we differ ... and how we are oh so much the same.

Sister Mary Michaelyn eventually left the sisterhood, I heard. Sister Mary Vincent remained a friend to me throughout her lifetime. She was an Onomatopoeian who made a big difference in many lives, including mine. I went to the spelling bee and made it to the final round. I fell on the word "disciple', which I thought was a bit ironic. Sister Mary Vincent was in the audience and was the first to stand up and applaud when they called my name as runner-up. I heard her loud and clear.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Digression!

Artwork by Barb Reid

The word from my heart pocket is Digression.

I love a good digression. It can carry me right across a canyon in nothing flat. I can be sitting on the edge with my feet dangling over the side, waiting and waiting for inspiration to come and boom! Digression flies by and I take hold and get carried to the other side, inspiration in hand and heart. Digression releases the glue of stagnancy. Digression holds hands with the muses and is the perfect jester. Digression teaches the one who is a slave to rules that there is merit in playfulness. Digression helps us value routine.

The pitfall is that digression is fun. It can be an unconscious way of disguising a desire to not finish or do the work at hand. Digression can be an actor playing the part of the fearful player or the role of the reluctant star. Digression acts as a puppet and we pull the strings to use it however we choose.

Digression is best friends with Focus. It walks side by side, ready when Focus is tired or bored or stuck. Digression  only interrupts when we invite it to do so. It is a chameleon, taking on any color we choose. Sabotaging digression can be physical. The clues are restlessness, illness, excessive fatigue. Good digressive antidotes are exercise, eating healthy and restful sleep. Sabotaging digression can be mental. Clues: over-active mind, avoidance, insomnia. Some good choices are meditation/stillness, creative playing, catnaps by the fire or at the beach. Sabotaging digression can be emotional. Clues: drama, depression, denial and some helpful digressions that cure emotional diversions are both physical and mental as listed above.

Digression is a deviation from routine. If digression has become the routine then it loses its identity ... and so do we.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Momentum!

The word from my heart pocket is Momentum!!!

DRIVE

PUSH

ENERGY

POWER

PROPULSION

THRUST

AMBITION

EFFORT

GUMPTION

GUTS

INITIATIVE

MUSCLE

VELOCITY

SPEED 

STEAM

STIMULUS

TENSION

POTENCY 

STRENGTH

POTENTIAL

MIGHT

MOMENTUM

sometimes it's all we need

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Design!

image by betterbydesign.org

The word from my heart pocket is Design.

The word design popped into my brain last night as I was going to sleep. I knew I would remember it in the morning because the thought of it pleased me so much. Even the word - Design - is cool. It's a verb and I love verbs. It looks great when you write it/print it/play with it. So many opportunities with design. I decided to search the internet for a video on design. I watched a lot of good ones but chose the one that follows for one specific reason: It's fun.

Here it is:  http://tinyurl.com/kogtxt

I could watch TED.com all day long. I have to avoid the T on my keyboard because ED.com will literally type itself. I like it because it's innovative and interesting and entertaining, beautiful and intelligent and inspirational and fun! It's meaningful to me and I learn from it. Those are the same qualities that appeal to me in my daily life. I unconsciously use them to decorate my surroundings, choose where I eat, what books I read, movies I watch, vacation experiences and what I choose for work. This makes me happy. These are the design qualities that make my life satisfying. These are the linchpins that propel me through my days.

There still exists in the world, struggle and sorrow and fearfulness and doubt. That is because there is a lot of unconscious designing going on. 

What if we were aware, more conscious in our design?

What if, like every designer, we made a list of the qualities needed in our lifestyle design? What's not functioning the way we like it? How do we want it to look? What does it need to be maintained? What are the elements of design that need to be changed? What do we need more of?

We start with drawings, pictures/images to help us visualize. We write it out and talk about it and read to get thoughts from others. What is the goal with our design? Happily ever after sounds good. It's what we strive for, right? The idea of that kind of pleasure might feel uncomfortable to some. It doesn't have to feel that way. We can include kindness and compassion and goodness in our design. It is pleasurable to evoke those feelings and share them with our world. We imagine our lifestyle design and once we have it clearly in our minds, we begin to live it.

We change what doesn't work. We retain what does. We explore and try new approaches. we act reasonably ... or not, depending on our point of view. We laugh at ourselves. We fall down. We pull ourselves together. We take baby steps. We experience quantum leaps. Design requires focus. Design wants playfulness, too.

Here's a tip: Discipline in design leads to freedom. Design is a verb, remember? It take E-squared, Effort and Energy. When we combine imagination with energy, we design with great satisfaction. It is the process that is pleasurable and when we experience this, Designer, be aware: Design is habit-forming and will take over your life.
  

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Discreet!

Artwork by harryandhelen

The word from my heart pocket is Discreet.

It takes a moment to be discreet. It requires a pause and if there's time, it requires thinking. 

To be discreet is to be cautious, civil, circumspect and at its best, considerate. 

Discretion is often wise and as in all things, can be misused to become manipulation.

The act of being discreet causes us to stop in our tracks and consider the consequences. We cannot help but put ourselves in the mix, and it truly helps to consider everyone involved. 

We are discreet when we think about what we are saying. We are discreet when we look before we leap. We are discreet when we gather facts and when we imagine a scenario to the end. It is wise to imagine completely. If passion is involved, our imaginations are capable of clouding our judgment. Discretion requires 360-degree thinking. Take your time when passion is present.

Discretion serves us best when it is considerate. That is, we look at a situation and we think of everyone involved. Not to be discounted, feelings can muddy the discretionary waters. Feelings must be acknowledged on every side and then put on the shelf for a moment. To be discreet is to utilize reason, to act temperately. When we apply consideration - no matter how upset, angry, hurt or righteous we feel - the picture becomes clearer. Our judgment comes from understanding and from a broader perspective. Discretion is not intended to change one's opinion or cool one's passion. It brings depth to the story, perspective to the painting. It causes us to take responsibility for our actions. To be discreet is to be mature.

Be careful not to use discretion as an excuse. This is classic manipulation. We are courageous when we own our choices. We are cowardly when we don't mean what we say, hiding behind some sort of "virtue". If you don't know, express it. When you don't understand, say "I don't understand." If a situation needs more information, get it - and make sure it is complete.

To be completely discreet is to listen with a full heart. Listening is the greatest attribute of someone who practices discretion. Kindness comes forward when we truly listen. We choose different words when we have understanding. We unclench our fists when we hear what is really being said. We connect when we listen and we are more likely to emerge triumphant when we are fully discreet.

This day, take opportunities to be discreet. Sharpen your listening skills. Let yourself feel the warmth of kindness. Connect with someone ... discreetly.