Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Fragile!

The word from my heart pocket is Fragile.

When something is easily breakable, we mark it fragile. We handle it carefully, put it out of reach, up high and behind glass doors. We value these things and sometimes we pay dearly for them. They are fragile and we protect them.

The delicate things in our lives are precious. What if we could wear stickers on our foreheads that read, "Be kind to me today. I'm feeling fragile." Suppose there were sensors in our bodies that made our arms turn blue when we needed a hug or our ears a bright green when we wanted to be heard. 

In fact, our bodies do give signs. Some are obvious. Our faces flush red when we are embarrassed and when we get really angry. Our eyebrows shoot up in surprise and fear. Our muscles tense, our mouths turn up and down, we swing our arms and step lighter. We shuffle and trudge. We become paralyzed with fear.  We are sick with worry.

The notion of time is important to us humans. It is one of those ideas we view as fragile. If we really look at this notion, it isn't the time that flies - it is how we choose to spend it. It is our energy that is valuable and sometimes fragile. When we spend energy on something we don't value, we waste it. When we use it for reasons that are counterproductive to our goals, we live to regret. Energy begets energy. Where we put our focus is where we make progress. It becomes fragile when we misuse it, waste it, scatter and spread it too thin.

A fragile teacup is a work of art. The artisan fashions it slowly and with care. It is fired and removed from the kiln tenderly. It is painted daintily and ever so lightly. Rather than letting it spend its life on a shelf, it becomes even more valuable when it is used purposefully, shares its energy with the one drinking from its fine teacup lips. A work of art becomes more of who it is when viewed and appreciated, or is the center of controversy, starting conversation, eliciting emotions and stimulating thought. Its shell might be fragile but its spirit grows strong with use.

A fragile spirit deserves the same care. It wants to be tended slowly, nurtured with care. The human spirit - and that of all living beings - has times of fragility and we nurse it but we do not coddle it if we truly want it to heal. Petunias want to be cut back periodically so they can cluster and grow in abundance. Our animal friends want exercise and a chance to connect with nature so their bodies strengthen and their energy is spent intentionally rather than pent up causing restlessness and illness. 

To be fragile it is not necessary to be weak, although we use the word in that context. To be fragile can also mean elegance, fineness of structure, delicacy, rare and beautiful.

If we can connect fragility with beauty, we can bring a gentle nature to our lives. If someone is suffering - is fragile - he is walking a fine line for awhile and we do well to give what is needed rather than to overdo. When a child is struggling - in school or sports, in relationships and growing pains - she is beautifully trying her wings and requires the tenderest of encouragement, consistency and a steady light. We all need this from time to time. If we wallow in our fragility, we lose our value, our purposefulness and our spirit fades. When we are fragile, our strength comes from within and it is our greatest challenge to muster this attitude. The beauty of fragility positively glistens at the moment this decision is made. Until then, we are the breakable kind of fragile. When this pinnacle is reached - and each of us has known it - fragile becomes structurally sound, unmatched in its elegance and beauty.

Athletes know this. Artists know this. Entrepreneurs experience it. Innovators, actors, visionaries. Mothers and fathers. The homeless. Those who face tragedy and overcome.

We learn about strength from our most fragile moments. We get the opportunity to face our vulnerability and if we choose to accept the challenge, we see exactly who we are. This crystal clear moment is a fine gift offered in a moment of sheer beauty. The connection is real and if we can draw it into our hearts right then, we cross into the promised land where we feel satisfied and peaceful. Fragility is a point of healing. Fragility works with gentility and grace. True strength comes from the possibility of being fragile. It is honorable and present in every moment of every day. 

Life is beautiful. Its fragility reminds us to take good care.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Human!

sketch by Leonardo da Vinci

The word from my heart pocket is human.

To be fully human we must open our hearts. Over and over, especially when we are afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of being hurt. Afraid after seeing a part of ourselves we don't like. 

A whole human experience is inclusive. It breathes and allows. Most of all, it is generous in times when generosity seems the least likely response. 

An open heart will get hurt. That is because it is exposed and ready to love. An open heart will know the deepest kind of love. It is wholly human to have an open heart.

"Knowing is not enough. We must apply." Leonardo da Vinci is attributed with these words. "Being willing is not enough; we must do." A person who tries, who experiments and explores will make mistakes. That is how learning happens and how genius grows. Exploration will experience discovery. It is wholly human to try and apply and do.

The human experience includes misery and sorrow. That is because it includes ecstasy and complete joy. To be human means to embrace what comes and to be wholly human is to generously open one's heart even when it is throbbing with pain. 

For it is in those moments that the next thing appears. If we have lost, we will gain. This makes sense to those who have opened to this experience. It isn't a prerequisite to living life. But the human experience is a beautiful book of stories no writer could ever imagine. To live a wholly human experience is the ultimate story and unique to each of us. 

Open heart
Inclusion

Compassion

Trying, Applying, Doing 
Endurance

 Generosity 
Love

Human
 

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Happiness!

Artwork by Su Daitch

The word from my heart pocket is Happiness!

What makes you happy? 

I started asking people and most of them said "To not have to worry about money." Not everyone included only this statement but nearly everyone mentioned it. Some said their grandchildren make them happy. Some said they WOULD be happy if they had a new job. And on the back side of that one, everyone said "I'd like to be paid for what I do."

I dove into that one a little bit. When asked to elaborate, every one of the persons wanted to be doing something else for a living and that something else what was what they chose to do in their spare time. A lawyer wanted to be a radio announcer. A schoolteacher wanted to be an actress. A mother of 3 wanted to start a foundation for putting children together with elderly who don't have grandchildren. The word happy became more frequent and more evident was how each person lighted up as they talked about that vocation, that calling that spoke to their heart, not to their pocket book. 

Whole conversations with people I had never met turned into sharing our lives when we exchanged thoughts about how we could be happy and I noticed that in every case except one, we moved to a happy state of mind just talking about being happy. We laughed and brainstormed and encouraged each other and shared ideas none of us had before. 

Much of the time we go about doing the same things over and over. If those same things make a person happy then life is working. Routine can bring great happiness to some people. It feels good to have stability and surety and it is when that applecart is upset that this type of person becomes unhappy. If we find ourselves grumpy or feeling low, complaining about the same things over and over and accepting them as "just the way it is", it might be good to change things up a bit. Sometimes getting a change of venue makes a difference - driving to work a new way, organizing an outing with people at work or in the neighborhood, speaking to the person you sit next to every day on the bus. We get stimulation this way and energy starts to flow. Our happiness factor rises when energy is flowing. Stagnation is dull and festering. Movement is interesting and energizing.

Happiness comes in as many ways as there are thoughts. We have the power to change our thinking and there is the key to happiness. We experience happiness when we are satisfied, even if the situation is serious. We feel happy when there is hope after a time of darkness. Happiness comes with peace of mind, contentment and it is absolutely contagious.

To be happy requires a sense of humor. To be happy means we make choices in line with what we want from life. If we are not feeling happy, something is amiss and we have the power to change that.

This is not to say we discount our feelings of sadness or anger or disappointment. It is human to respond to what happens to us, to those we love, to our world. But happiness is present in every part of our lives and we embrace it by seeing life as a whole, not just the slice we are living at the moment. 

I mentioned that in conversations about "what makes you happy" everyone moved into a state of happiness just talking about it, except one. His name was Josh and he was 5. He was one of the 3 children of the mom who wanted to start the foundation. Josh was listening to our discussion and when there was a brief lull, he piped up, "I'm happy." I asked him, "Why are you happy?" He looked straight at me, raised his eyebrows and clearly said, "Because that's me."

 

 

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Proud!

Chief Seattle has come to be a symbol of a proud native American. 

Because records are scarce and word of mouth unreliable, the information about him is controversial. Still, he is a metaphorical symbol of a majestic and honorable historical figure, one who is credited with a beautiful speech; a speech that no matter the author, is absolutely a fine example of what it means to be proud.
 

The word from my heart pocket is Proud.

It's almost as if there are opposite meanings of the word. Proud is appreciative and glad. Proud is contemptuous and cool. Proud is fiery and memorable. Proud is pompous and egotistical. Grand and illustrious. Narcissistic and imperious. Magnificent and majestic and noble. Ostentatious and presumptuous and vain.

How can this be?

We feel proud the day our child is born. We feel proud when our team wins the finals. We feel proud when we persist and we succeed. We feel proud when we secure the job we want. We feel proud when we look our best. We feel proud and that is good.

We feel proud when our child is more beautiful than others. We feel proud when our self-worth is tied to winning and winning is everything because it means we're better than others. We feel proud when we overcome obstacles to get what we want. We worked hard while some of those other people had life handed to them on a silver plate. We feel proud to look so good all the time. We have style and we are superior in every way. We feel proud and that's not so good.

The kind of proud that truly sets a person apart celebrates with a full heart, not a half-empty one. It is inclusive and has compassion that recognizes the oneness of our human existence. We can express our proud feelings with excitement and joy. Others love to share that feeling. Others feel that kind of proud because it is pure and in the moment. 

There is another kind of proud that isn't shared because it isn't offered. It is private and delights in itself. It hides in shadows because it knows it is less and has to puff itself up but doesn't want anyone else to know. It boasts and is high-handed, exclusive and fake. It's not really proud at all.

When you do something good, think "I'm proud of me!" When someone else does something outstanding, acknowledge it with "I'm proud of you!" We are experiencing the same feeling and when proud is shared, it feels REALLY good.

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Believe!

 

artwork by Kittie Beletic

The word from my heart pocket is Believe.

What we believe is what happens. It's that simple. It isn't that we wish it on ourselves, but then again, if we believe something to be true, we'll experience it that way.  

Believe in fear and it exists. Believe in love and it exists. Does that seem too simple?

I don't believe so. We don't all agree on everything. That is because we have different  beliefs. Having different beliefs is beneficial if we listen and learn from each other. Our beliefs can work for us or against us. We get to choose how we believe even if a person lives in a country that forbids that freedom.

A belief is a powerful force. It starts wars. It ends them. It heals the dying. It creates music and movies and dreams. It carries a person through an entire lifetime. It lifts spirits and builds cities and brings people out of poverty into a place of great self-worth. 

No matter what you believe, it affects every part of your world. Our beliefs dictate our actions, our innermost thoughts, our secret desires. They bind us and free us and reflect who we are. It pays to examine our beliefs. They're easy to see, sometimes more by others than by ourselves. 

If you believe something, let it show. Don't worry that someone else believes differently from you. Beliefs are conversation starters. They bring us together, even if just to show us that we share passion and courage and strength in our beliefs.

We can change our beliefs. Not everyone believes that. I do. I have done it. I chose to change my beliefs because I chose to change myself. I have believed out of ignorance. I have believed out of love. 

Look at your life and you will see what you believe. See clearly. Don't be afraid to see something you don't like. You can change it. If you cherish what you believe, live it with all of your heart.

Believe in yourself. Believe in our children. Believe in something more than yourself so your Self can gain perspective.  

And like the Queen, who was really quite remarkable ... practice believing the impossible. I guarantee you'll be rewarded. 

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Shadow!

 Steam phase eruption of Castle Geyser with crepuscular rays and shadow
Yellowstone National Park 
Photo by mila zinkova

The word from my heart pocket is Shadow.

The word shadow is associated with darkness, negative, secrets and intrigue. It has been used in novels and movies and television to frighten us and to create suspense. It is used in literature to suggest something is coming, to hint at a future happening. We know a shadow by its outline and its familiar dark cast on a sidewalk or a wall or a curtain. 

The times we spend in shadow can have significance to us, even though typically they aren't joyous times. Usually they happen when we have need to retreat from the limelight, on the back side of tragedy or disappointment or when our ego has been battered and bruised. 

Another time we sit in the shadows is when we are waiting for something to begin. We aren't quite prepared or we are ready but the timing isn't right as yet. Shadow provides shelter as if it were a sanctuary of sorts. We feel protected and safe. 

To remain in the shadows for too long isn't completely healthy. Just as our bodies need the light, so do our hearts and our personalities. Shadow offers recovery time, a place to mend but it isn't meant to last forever. The earth rotates around the sun and soon we are in the light again. Shadows have a time and a place. It is a temporary state of being.

Relax into a shadow time when you need a retreat. Let the cool of shadow bring relief and do its gentle work. As you succumb, you allow a time of fertility and growth and you prepare yourself for when the light finds you again. The shadow offers an intimacy not known to the bright lights of every day living. It touches a part of us we don't always acknowledge. It is honorable when it is accepted and allowed to dissipate when its work is finished.

Oh the stories it could tell! Who knows?

The Shadow ... 

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Gratitude!

Sculptured Jewelry design by Cathy Dailey

The word from my heart pocket is Gratitude.

Once upon a time there was a planet named Gratitude. It was like all the other planets in many ways. It had people and plants and dogs and cats and it even had pizza which made a lot of people happy.

Gratitude also had sadness and hunger and many many hurt feelings. There were people who had jobs and people who were still looking. The crops on Gratitude had good years and bad years and the streets weren't paved with gold so there was still a lot of traffic due to construction.

But the planet Gratitude had one thing other planets didn't. Everyone saw the good in what was around them. Even in hard times, there were good things to see just like on all the other planets. On planet Gratitude, the inhabitants could see those good things and turned their focus in that direction so they could see a whole picture. This didn't take away their sadness or sore muscles because it was their nature to feel sad and sore when things didn't go as planned or they had to work extra hard. 

Seeing the good helped in a different way. The inhabitants acknowledged the hard times but they also acknowledged what remained good in their lives and in the world around them. They noticed when a neighbor offered a helping hand. They appreciated the cool breezes that came when the sun went to the other side of Gratitude. They found ways to make music with their voices and hands and they told stories to each other. Some of them were very funny.

Because the inhabitants of Gratitude chose to see the good as well as the bad, to appreciate the easy as well as the hard, because they allowed themselves to see a whole picture, they lived very full lives and had much less bodily stress than inhabitants of the other planets. 

It was not unusual to see lots of smiling in Gratitude. There was less energy wasted in Gratitude and for some reason new ideas popped into people's minds more frequently. I guess there was plenty of room for them without worry and doubt and fear. The inhabitants of Gratitude always had plenty and even when they wanted more, they shared with those going through difficult times because they knew how it felt to be without.

Gratitude stills exists. More and more people are living there. I know this because I've been there. It doesn't feel crowded no matter how many folks are there and it's like being on vacation especially after living in fear. Gratitude is home to everyone. It has lots of beautiful neighborhoods and everything seems easier in Gratitude than in other places. 

I love being in Gratitude. I think I'll go there right now. Care to join me?

Heart Pocket Word for the Day is Generosity!

The word from my heart pocket is Generosity.

The most generous people I know give when something is truly needed. These people look beyond the surface and into the lives of others. Their generosity isn't because of their religion or their upbringing or their sense of duty.

True generosity happens when there is a connection between the giver and the receiver. They may never meet and the connection will live for always. 

Generosity can be easy or hard, simple or complicated, fulfilling or not.

To be generous is to see a need and fulfill it. As the giver, we sometimes get to enjoy a good feeling when we act through generosity. sometimes we don't. As the receiver, we are sometimes gracious and sometimes we are not.

Generosity doesn't care. It has no emotions. The act of giving and receiving when there is need is one of the most beautiful exchanges in all of human nature. It is natural within us and when we exercise this talent, we are fully human.

We are moved to give when we hear of a tragedy. We receive graciously when our lives are at stake. Money that wasn't in our pockets 10 minutes before miraculously appears when we are touched by the misery of others. We find time and energy and offer our skills for no expected return. Generosity is always present, wrapped and ready to give.

There is also a gift that comes with bestowing real generosity. A person can try to manufacture it, but it only happens when a need is recognized, offered and accepted from the heart. The gift is that the gesture is recorded in the hearts of both giver and the one who receives. It is remembered and the bond between the two is deeply spiritual no matter what their individual beliefs. The gift sometimes gets the chance to be reciprocated - to the original giver or by "paying it forward". There might be a lesson learned or an opportunity created. The moment the gift moves from one life into another's, it is sacred and pure and the imprint it makes cannot be erased.

Small courtesies in our daily lives can be absolute gifts of generosity. A simple "I'm sorry" spoken from the heart might be enormously hard to give. That's because it matters so much. That's because love is present and in need. Sometimes we can offer what is easy to give and make a huge difference in the life of someone afraid to ask for help. Sometimes we have to sacrifice when we choose to give. Anytime we give with a pure intention, it is returned when we least expect it.

Generosity is never silent but it does come in the form of refrain, by not rescuing or enabling, choosing behavior that allows others to grow. This is when generosity is the hardest because its nature is outward and free. There are times when the most generous gift is one of silence. Don't be afraid. It is working louder than you could ever imagine.

Look inside your heart pocket to find your generosity. It's grinning at you. It wants to ride on your shoulder today. It wants to see through your eyes and work through your hands. It is playful and even if it's just Generosity's smile that greets those you meet, it is where the opportunity to give begins.